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The Characters of Theophrastus Part II

From Stupid and Surly to Offensive and Superstitious.

In this article we will cover the 11-20 moral characters in Theophrastus moral characters. If you missed part 1 read it here before you chow down on this, the second part.

11 The Gross Character

This is referred to someone who combines shamelessness with lack of hygiene. For example, you go to your favorite spot in your local farmer’s marker, and there is always one person who tastes a lot of things while chatting up the seller. Or just someone who spits all over the place.

12 The Unseasonable Character

This is someone who, we would say, doesn’t know how to read a room. For example, you have a friend, a bit self-interested. And there is a time of great need in your life, someone you know had a medical emergency and you are beside yourself. That friend calls, says they will come over and show some compassion, make you feel better. But in reality, they will just come over and pile their problems on your already frail, distraught mind and back.

13 The Officious Character

This is someone who isn’t aware of where he stands in life and in society. In general, they will look for public events, or chances as they see them to display their political or any other influence. In such an event, they will promise to use their influences to help person x, even if they do not have the slightest say in such a matter. They will confuse meeting a important person with being friends with them.

14 The Stupid Character

This is a rare case where our definition and that of Theophrastus overlap. The best example for such a character would be Joey from Friends.

Theophrastus would have pointed to Joey and exclaimed “My wisdom is eternal!!”

15 The Surly Character

A surly character is one who is rude, unsocial, unfriendly, but only when directly spoken to. For example, he or she is the person who when asked “hey, how are you?” Just greet your with a vicious frown, look you up and down, and turn away.

16 The Superstitious Character

The completely superstitious character sees signs of his or her demise in every single event that befalls them. Everything that happens to them, has a supernatural aspect to it, brining ruin into their life. They are cowards, but a of a very special and rare ilk, only exhibited around potentially supernatural phenomena. Everything that is out of the ordinary they will see as pollution, the first blemish that will ruin them down the line.

17 The Grumbler

This type of character just has to bitch about something. You can give him a present, something that they really need and want. And their reaction will just be, “Oh, How I wish I could have this 2 months ago, when I needed it most”. Or they will turn all their good news and spin it as something undesirable, or bad for them. For example, you congratulate them on the birth of their child and they will reply that eventually the child will end up spending most of the money that they worked hard for all their life.

18 The Distrustful Character

At their core, a distrustful characters thinks that every single person in the world is unjust, evil and looking to take advantage of them. This naturally extends even to those who are closes to them, their family members. Just imagine, you are laying there with your significant other, and they asked you if you did X and you reply yes, for the 10 time. But, they will still get up and check to see if you were telling them the truth.

19 The Offensive Character

Someone who is really negligence to their own physical appearance is what Theophrastus would call a Offensive character. Someone whose beard looks like a jungle, full of bits and pieces of their former meals. Someone who spray tans their body, but puts cloths on too soon and gets spray tan all over their white shirt.

20 The Unpleasant Character

The unpleasant person will annoy you, harmlessly. They just can’t help themselves. Think of a person who knows that you made plans for a particular day, but they still come over to your place, and stall you with annoying chatter while you are getting ready for your big night out.

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